
So let’s throw a few things out there to get your still living brains running and keep it out of the waiting hands of the undead, because you’re going to need to pull some rabbits out of your metaphorical hat. What resources you have now or can locate are what are going to keep you going from day to day, resources beyond food and shelter, such as books and equipment. Knowledge will play a key factor in post-apocalyptic survival, if you don't know how to survive then you won’t. Books can impart the necessary information you will need, vehicles will need repaired, food will need grown, and weapons made. So while everyone’s at the mall planning on surviving come Day 1 get to the book store and stock up on the things that will help ensure you make it to the end. There is a mass amount of resources in those beautiful pages from weapon-smiting to how to bring in fresh water, to upgrading the suspension on your favorite zombie slaughtering vehicle. This knowledge you will possess will keep you alive when shit hits and gets real, not only will it help you live but can also be used as a trade item for goods you may need.
The worlds going to get mid-evil again and you’re going to need to roll with the punches from this one, it’s going to be a sick, and dirty thing but will also weed out the weak quicker than last night’s Taco Bell found the toilet. Needless to say unless you have a super team consisting of Chuck Norris, Little Debbie, Bill Nye, and Betty White (Cause when Chuck Norris is in the mood to plaster Zombie faces all over the wall with a Karate Chop, she may well save you from being his next victim.) Then I recommend tightening those pack straps and adding a few useful pounds, because it’s going to take more than extra reloads this time. Or if you don’t feel like packing the weight, use what resource you have now and load up on PDFs of books, articles, and magazines that are found freely on the web. All the information you need could be stored on a single tablet backed with a solar charger. It may not last forever granted but it’s a lot lighter than lugging around the Kama Sutra and it gives you more room for Lego’s.
Now let's take a journey into another world or resources that will abound during these times. The amount of available equipment that's just sitting around rusting and skeletal will make your world a lot easier. If you’re being hounded by the moans of the never tiring, never caring throng of dead and you’re running out of steam what's your next move? Lock up inside a closet and wait for them to break the door down. Screw those thoughts, let’s find ourselves a Caterpillar D-11 Dozer and start mowing the sea of rotting flesh, let out your inner maniac as the steel tracks grind the marrow from their bones soaking the earth with the putrid bile that squirts out like a pimple. Getting the picture yet? All of this equipment is going to be sitting around waiting for you to use your imagination and turn it into a weapon of mass slaughter. But be smart when using it for such purposes; be aware of how you access it and how well a throng can break through. Most tracked machinery requires you to climb into the cab by getting onto the tracks, so the likely hood of a corpse taking you out of there is nil. Keep it moving and you’ll find success. While you’re at it, take your new toy for a spin and clear the roadway of debris for future jaunts into the location.
Remember the world’s most definitely going to be your oyster so eat it and love it, because all the things you'll need to make a new future is at your disposal. Machinery, equipment, information, it’s all there waiting on you to need it and take it. Welding machines for fabrication, Backhoes for trenching, generators for power, books for the know-how, all of it, the only thing that will limit you is your own mind. So my wonderful family of ZEPHEADS lets live, learn, and survive and you'll stay on the right side of my gun come Z-day.
Until then stay vigilant.
(June 21- July 22) A damn “closet emo,” is what you are Cancer. Either speak up and tell someone how you are feeling or stop acting like a bitch when the plan of action isn't something you agree with. Be lucky one of your team members aren't clairvoyant because they would probably pimp smack your moody ass!
(July 23- August 22) Well, aren't you just fucking perfect Leo! You're the leader, everyone likes you and you always have the solution to every problem. That's ok, just soak up enough attention now to fill your ego while you can, because in the ZA, the zombies will tear you ass down and chew you up, not build you up!
(August 23- September 22) Ok, Mr. Smarty pants, you may be highly intelligent but you are slow as fuck! You have already over analyzed the effects on society and made your plan of action for survival, over a hundred times now. So, now that the undead are upon us, start using your instincts and get that shit done already!
(September 23- October 22) With any luck, the zombie apocalypse will be your boot camp Libra, by training your ass to stop being so pathetic with your self confidence. You can't go with others decisions and be the people pleaser you are, when the population around you will only be pleased by ripping off your flesh!
(October 23- November 21) Well, well, well... if it isn't the little control freak! Have fun flipping the fuck out when the fate of the world crumbles right in front of you and you realize just how insignificant you really are, not being able to make a difference in stopping it. Welcome to a world without order!
(November 22- December 21) This is the time when “keeping it real” goes wrong Sagittarius. People can read your ass like a book since you feel the need to be so open and straight forward. You better improve your “poker face” so to speak or you are going to lead the pirate survivors right back to your camp to scavenge all your shit!
(December 22- January 19) There is more than one way to skin a cat Capricorn, but you are too damn stubborn to try anyone elses way. Yeah, you may be pretty smart but, you're a cocky ass sometimes and that pride is going to get your ass bitten. Open those ears and take a little advice now and then dammit!