(January 20- February 18) Curiosity killed the cat but, you not a fucking cat Aquarius! Stop investigating everything just because you thought you heard a noise. Keep moving and stay observant of your surroundings and you might just keep you ass safe!

(February 19- March 20) Quit being such an over sensitive little bitch, Pisces! You know you want someone to tell you how it is, so suck it up buttercup. Deal with the decisions you don't agree with and roll with the punches or face getting tossed to the hoards!

(March 21- April 19) Get off your high horse and stop acting like such an asshole Aries! Think of the rest of your group for once, instead of yourself and you might just make your fellow survivors feel more confident with you as their leader.

(April 20- May 20) Grow some balls Taurus! You know damn well that you have what it takes to be a great leader (probably a better leader than you have now) but no, you would rather be lazy and let someone else call the shots.

(May 21- June 20) Calm the fuck down Gemini! You are impulsive, reckless and too damn nosy for your own good! Slow down and take a breath for a minute to clear that enigma machine you call a brain.

(June 21- July 22) A damn “closet emo,” is what you are Cancer. Either speak up and tell someone how you are feeling or stop acting like a bitch when the plan of action isn't something you agree with. Be lucky one of your team members aren't clairvoyant because they would probably pimp smack your moody ass!

(July 23- August 22) Well, aren't you just fucking perfect Leo! You're the leader, everyone likes you and you always have the solution to every problem. That's ok, just soak up enough attention now to fill your ego while you can, because in the ZA, the zombies will tear you ass down and chew you up, not build you up!

(August 23- September 22) Ok, Mr. Smarty pants, you may be highly intelligent but you are slow as fuck! You have already over analyzed the effects on society and made your plan of action for survival, over a hundred times now. So, now that the undead are upon us, start using your instincts and get that shit done already!

(September 23- October 22) With any luck, the zombie apocalypse will be your boot camp Libra, by training your ass to stop being so pathetic with your self confidence. You can't go with others decisions and be the people pleaser you are, when the population around you will only be pleased by ripping off your flesh!

(October 23- November 21) Well, well, well... if it isn't the little control freak! Have fun flipping the fuck out when the fate of the world crumbles right in front of you and you realize just how insignificant you really are, not being able to make a difference in stopping it. Welcome to a world without order!

(November 22- December 21) This is the time when “keeping it real” goes wrong Sagittarius. People can read your ass like a book since you feel the need to be so open and straight forward. You better improve your “poker face” so to speak or you are going to lead the pirate survivors right back to your camp to scavenge all your shit!

(December 22- January 19) There is more than one way to skin a cat Capricorn, but you are too damn stubborn to try anyone elses way. Yeah, you may be pretty smart but, you're a cocky ass sometimes and that pride is going to get your ass bitten. Open those ears and take a little advice now and then dammit!