Welcome ZEPEAD,
you have entered the sick demented world
that is ZOMBIESEATPEOPLE.NET!
ZEP is an organization that specializes in all facets of undead culture, from post-apocalyptic survival to the appreciation and history of the Zombie Film. The living dead in popular culture, to the simple need to laugh and enjoy the world of today…. Because before long, society will crumble beneath the teeth of the deceased, as we are ALL food in the eyes of the DEAD!
Coffee in the Apocalypse
- Details
- Written by CW Beier
Many survival applications render this commodity a valuable recourse among those surviving in a post-apocalyptic world. Coffee is a stimulant, increasing awareness in a world were a potential threat is insurmountable in numbers. It also works as a formidable decongestant, allowing for clean passages and ease to a sore throat. Coffee in regular consumption depletes the risk of type II diabetes and many other health risks. It can even temporarily settle asthma complications. It works as a natural laxative, clearing the bowels of an undead survivalist that could be inhibited by constipation.
Among other advantages of the refreshment is its ability to remove odor. When the weak stomach of your ally has spewed all over the floor of your fortification, coffee grounds alone are capable of extracting the odor from the mess increasing moral in a world when smelling rotting corpses is more than enough. The increased urine flow has many advantages, in the decomposition process it can be used to hasten the process of turning zombies into bio-diesel. It can also be used as a topical disinfectant on wounds, and even rectify dry skin and alleviate eczema. That and the increased urine flow resulting from the digestion of coffee will act as incredible fertilizer for the crops supplying yourself and your allies with a replenishing food source.
NOW I MUST BLUDGEON YOU WITH YOUR OWN LEG!
- Details
- Written by CW Beier
Use the zombie against itself with its own appendage!
Many lack the knowledge of exactly how fragile a zombie can tend to be. Due to gravities effects on an upright and already rotting corpse, often the muscle and other tissues in the joints of the undead are heavily decayed. This gives the survivalist a great advantage and makes arms and legs easily dismountable should the need arise. Presumably the best method would be to kick a zombie over, and by forcing the leg backwards, it allows the best anatomical solution to dislocating the femur. And also the statistically common extra decomposition in the legs and pelvis from flies laying eggs in the open cavities of the rectum and reproductive organs, removing the leg will be easier then assumed. After the removal of the leg, make a strong grip onto the femur, and in a twisting manner with a series of pulls, you will have the sturdiest bone in the human body with enough length and durability to cause the blunt force trauma required to neutralize a zombie.
Warning: Don’t try this method with a fresh corpse. The process of decay will make your acquisition that much easier. Bones take so long to decay form natural weathering the oldest and most torn apart zombie is the best candidate for melee weapon harvesting.
Brass Knuckles... Death Trap?
- Details
- Written by CW Beier
It is a common belief of mine, that if used appropriately, brass knuckles could be effective against a zombie. They facilitate speed and accuracy and are more than capable of the skull fracture needed, to lead to the proper neutralization of the undead brain. What it lacks though in the overall effectively in the post-apocalyptic scenario of combat with the living dead, is the potential for contamination. Without any safe distance to barrier yourself, and your very own hands being the weapon in question, the overall odds for survival would diminish greatly. However, this pair I would like to disprove. Because quite honestly, this one shot piece should only be considered for one thing. Because inevitably there is only one time when one shot will ever do any justice.
You are using the “knucks” Running up on a group of 4 zombies you grip the brass tightly, and with one precise open swing the first zombies already decayed head cracks upon a solidly landed punch. Then, without time for recoil, you swing your arm back hitting another zombie in the temple, not killing the cannibal, but throwing its center of gravity off tremendously.
Children of the Apocalypse (BRAINS MAGAZINE #1)
- Details
- Written by Lacey Grenier
Being a fan of Zombies Eat People and being a parent can create much paranoia. If you have not yet had a dream of a rotting undead corpse standing between you and your child, you need to. It will put much in to perspective with the special preparations involved for raising a child and keeping them safe in a post apocalyptic world. Negligence could cause you to lose your child to the hoards or even worse, create another orphan child to fend for them self in a world lacking compassion and moral behavior.
Equation to calculate if your overweight ally will be consumed giving you an escape.
- Details
- Written by CW Beier
Your overweight cohorts’ weight multiplied by the number 703 divided by their height in inches to the second power, to gain your hefty allies Body Mass Index, subtract your BMI which you will determine by the same process. The total (represented by Z) then divided by ten will leave you with a decimal fraction. Convert to a percentage for your odd of survival unarmed, with nothing more than your obese friends disadvantage to your blessing.
Note… A BMI difference of higher then 10, only increases the percentage above 100%.
For Example: A 6’ tall, 350 lb man has a BMI of 47, and is technically obese. If he was accompanied by a 5’8” tall man, at a weight of 164 lbs and a BMI of 25, that man of healthy weight would have a 220% chance of survival in outrunning the obese man.
Read more: Equation to calculate if your overweight ally will be consumed giving you an escape.
8 Most Underrated Zombie Movies (BRAINS MAGAZINE #1)
- Details
- Written by CW Beier
Now upon my impromptu notion of compiling this list, I have many of things to acknowledge. At my subjectively young age of twenty five, I have not lived even half of the “Unlifespan’’ of the zombie genre, originating in the 1930’s. This is highly irrelevant being that I have spent a life-time as a fan of the horror genre. I have personally seen countless zombie movies, not discriminating from new to old, high budget blockbuster to low quality B horror films, domestic to foreign, serious or comedic. My basis for the love of the genre has been strictly that of how difficult it is for any filmmaker to delve into a genre where seemingly everything has already been done. I do not believe this to be true.
Read more: 8 Most Underrated Zombie Movies (BRAINS MAGAZINE #1)
